The truth about insecurity
I was so frustrated at first. Why can't my photos look the way I want them to? Why does everyone else seem to nail photos perfectly and I keep coming up with photos that only frustrate me. I tend to be insecure with my work. Will anyone else like this? Is this the right way to shoot this? Are these colors too bright or are these blacks too dark?
It's a cycle. And it is going no where except around and around and around until finally you either decide to get out of it or you throw in your rag out of exhaustion.
I have been at that point recently. I have learned more in the past two months than I ever had. I have been blessed with such neat opportunities before that I never have been. I have had the chance to have my work featured for the first time. I am in the process of creating a logo to symbolize me and my style of photography. All of this is great, but once I start to look around at what everyone else is doing and compare myself to them... all of those great things seemingly disappear.
I got these images back from my second roll of film. Immediately I was upset. Too much grain. Too little grain. Overexposure. And the cycle began again..
Until God really started working on my heart about it all. He has been revealing to me that I was not created to do or be what anyone else is. As my sweet boyfriend would say, "You need to put on blinders.. and go for it." Not only that but my incredible graphic designer who is working on my logo, Dawn Alderman, took the time to write me a letter telling me the same truths.. and she had no idea that I have felt like this.
After the past week or so of changing my perspective, I pulled these photos out of Nikita and looked at them differently. I love them. I love the grain. I love how they are overexposed. They are art to me.